The review
I know three things about He-Man: he exists, he has a sword, and I keep mixing him up with Conan the Barbarian. So no, I didn't grow up on this. Someone from my D&D party sold it to me, and that's the whole reason I watched.
Skeletor stole the show. Completely. I had to check who was under the flawless CGI skeleton and muscle suit: it's Jared Leto, in what I'd call his best performance to date... Granted, the audio engineers might have done some wizardry of their own, but the performance was still top tier. Above all, it's refreshing to see a villain who is purely a villain. No hidden agendas, no redemption arc, just pure chaotic evil.
The movie is FUN, end to end. The jokes made me genuinely laugh, or at the very least snicker; probably nine out of ten landed. If you're new here (welcome, btw), slapstick bestows upon me nothing but the rolling of my eyes. I prefer my comedy with a dash of depth. I can't tell you if it was just my mood, but the borderline-slapstick cringe worked for me here. The jokes aren't deep, but they're delivered very well and they fit what the movie wants to be. The camera doesn't linger, the reactions aren't forced, nobody overacts or overreacts. I enjoyed this a lot more than the James Gunn or Taika Waititi school of comedy.
The visual effects are gorgeous, and the setting is one of the most unique I've seen: think LoTR meets Star Trek, a whimsical fantasy-and-modern mashup that could only work in a movie that doesn't take itself too seriously... and it works. If you insist on being logical, let me ask you: why would anyone still swing a sword when there are guns? Well, this movie wants every brain cell to take a nap, and it's funner that way. The fights are satisfying, the music is banging, and Adam (Nicholas Galitzine) and Teela (Camila Mendes) are eyecandy for everyone 😉
Adam himself is exactly what the movie needs him to be, and any flaw I'd point at comes from the story, not from Galitzine: the dialogue is gold, the delivery is natural, and the awkwardness is delicious. I think this is my first time seeing him on the big screen, and the kid is promising, with the risk of being typecast into similar roles. I'm an Idris Elba fan, so I can't be objective about him. Sasheer Zamata plays Adam's boss back on Earth to perfection. And, oh, did I tell you there's a cute green tiger and an awesome killer bot voiced by Kristen Wiig?
Here's my weird take... There's a dip in the middle: a character moment, a bit of drama, far fewer jokes. It's short, but the first half was a nonstop ride, action or comedy or both, and losing that for a few minutes felt like withdrawal at the halfway mark (yeah, perfect time for a potty break). Mixed feelings. Without that stretch the movie would have even less to say; with it, it stalls the brainless joyride it had me on. Keep the pedal down and I'd have loved this movie even more.
The messages are light: a father and daughter, a father and son, a student and mentor, and none of it goes deep. The one lesson I'll remember for a long time is the simplest one: if you fall, stand back up. That said, I'm not here for a font of wisdom. I'm glad there's some, but strangely I'd have been fine with none. The ending landed and left the door open for a sequel I'd happily watch. The small flaws are easy to forgive when something is this much fun, this pretty to look at, and this good to listen to.
Masters of the Universe: a feast for the senses, a respite for the brain.
