ScreenScum

The stats, 0 to 10

1. 

   Impact

   How hard it hits.

   1. 0–2ForgettableForgettable0forgotten imediately1not memorable whatsoever2not memorable
   2. 3–4BadBad3bad4below average
   3. 5–7GoodGood5average6good7strong
   4. 8–10PeakPeak8very strong9peak10mind blowing
2. 

   Story

   The plot, and whether the ending lands.

   1. 0–2No storyNo story0zero story, just whatever it is1might as well have no story2too litte or too bad
   2. 3–4BadBad3bad4below average
   3. 5–7GoodGood5average6above average7good
   4. 8–10FlawlessFlawless8great9amazing10flawless
3. 

   Cast

   Who carried it, and who didn't.

   1. 0–2Hard to watchHard to watch0can't get this score1almost no cast other than a narrator, so can't judge2terrible, hard to watch
   2. 3–4NoobNoob3bad performance4noob performance
   3. 5–7GoodGood5average6above average7good
   4. 8–10PerfectPerfect8great9near perfect10perfect
4. 

   Depth

   Does it say something? Does it stick?

   1. 0–2Brain offBrain off0murders brain cells by watching1slapstick2slapstick with a single grain of wisdom
   2. 3–4ShallowShallow3very shallow4shallow
   3. 5–7GoodGood5average6pretty good7good
   4. 8–10Mind-bendingMind-bending8deep9mindf***10will mindf*** you for years to come
5. 

   Pace

   Moves well, never drags. Slow to fast, not bad to good.

   1. 0–2GlacialGlacial0doesn't exist1fall asleep watching2excruciatingly slow
   2. 3–4SlowSlow3very slow4slow
   3. 5–7MovesMoves5quite slow6not too slow, not too fast7pretty fast paced
   4. 8–10BreakneckBreakneck8fast paced9doesn't let up, very fast, slow scenes earned10f***ing fast, might be too fast even
6. 

   Gameplaygames, instead of Pace

   How it plays in your hands.

   1. 0–2MindlessMindless0can't get this score1mindless2terrible
   2. 3–4BadBad3bad4below average
   3. 5–7GoodGood5average6above average7good
   4. 8–10GodlikeGodlike8great9amazing10godlike
7. 

   Replay

   Would I go back, and does it hold up?

   1. 0–2Once is enoughOnce is enough0Regret watching, need memory wipe1Once is one time too many2Once is enough
   2. 3–4If I'm draggedIf I'm dragged3Probably won't watch again4Will watch again if my wife twist my hand
   3. 5–7GladlyGladly5I may watch it again sometime in the future6Will enjoy watching again7Most likely will watch again
   4. 8–10TimelessTimeless8Looking forward to watching again9On my rewatch list already10Timeless, never gets old
8. 

   Valuegames, instead of Replay

   Worth the money at full price, or wait for a discount.

   1. 0–2Refund itRefund it0Refund.1Only on a huge sale.2Only on a sale.
   2. 3–4Wait for a saleWait for a sale3Need a sale.4Wait for a sale.
   3. 5–7Fair at full priceFair at full price5Only if you know you'll like it.6Standard industry pricing for what it is.7No regrets buying.
   4. 8–10A stealA steal8Worth the price.9Over delivers for the price.10Just buy it.